How to Promote Unity in Your Marriage

The following article is from a new site being developed to help strengthen marriages.  You can check it out by clicking the following - UNITY IN MARRIAGE RESOURCES  

The Bible says we are to "preserve" unity not "produce" it - "being diligent to preserve the unity" (Ephesians 4:3).  When we try to make our spouse be more unified and pleasant toward us we begin to have wrong actions and attitudes.  Our goal must be instead to influence change not make things change.  We do this by diligently applying the four attitudes mentioned in the previous verse (Ephesians 4:2), "with all humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance in love".  But this is not easy to do when things are going so very poorly – when the love given is not returned - when indifference, selfishness and disappointment is the norm.  Certainly there are many times God's Word instructs us to speak to our spouse about such things. (Ephesians 4:15, 26-27, 29-30). But what will motivate loving responses like humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance as we decide how and when to speak and to deal with all this? We do this by having a heart that Paul speaks of one verse earlier, (Ephesians 4:1), "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." 

This blog and the course "Unity in Marriage" will seek to introduce you to thought patterns that will promote such a heart to be such an influence for unity in marriage.  If this is something you desire than this blog and course is for you.

WHAT WILL I LEARN?
First, how to renew your heart for  Christ and spouse daily by thinking on Biblical thoughts that stir spiritual motivators; second, how to develop new habits weekly in how you relate with your spouse in key areas that God's word emphasizes for marriage. 

WHAT ARE THE ESSENTIAL "KEY HABITS"?
The Unity in Marriage course focuses on habit growth in seven biblical marriage essentials: 1) Communication, 2) Role Fulfillment, 3) Team-work,
4) Delighting in Differences, 5) 5 Levels of Companionship, 6) Sexual Intimacy, and 7) Financial Goals

WHERE DO I FIND THE HEART TO WORK AT THIS?
This course seeks to teach you how to be renewed in four key spiritual
motivators to empower development in these seven marriage habits:  1) Fear of the Lord, 2) Hope in the Lord, 3) Love for the Lord and spouse, and  4) Humility toward the Lord and spouse.

The resources on this blog will help you stay encouraged to be faithful to keep promoting unity in your marriage.  Taking the eight week course entitled "Unity in Marriage" will help lay a solid foundation of Biblical principles and spiritual concepts.  The goal is that this blog will serve to facilitate ongoing application of what is taught in that course.  But even if you have not taken the course, our hope is that you will gain from the resources and articles on this blog.  To learn more about how to sign up for the next "Unity in Marriage" course contact Lowcountry Biblical Counseling Center: (843)278-0072, info@lcbcc.org, or www.lcbcc.org.

The Duties & Inheritance of the Priests and Levites – Numbers 18

Begin your study with prayer for the Lord to open your eyes to see who He is more clearly and how to respond to Him more deeply in heart affections and horizontal, radical love toward others.

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Numbers 18

Here Are Matthew Henry’s Comments on Numbers 19

 Vs 1-8 Aaron would see reason not to be proud of his preferment, when he considered the great care and charge upon him. Be not high-minded, but fear. The greater the trust of work and power that is committed to us, the greater danger there is of betraying that trust. This is a good reason why we should neither envy others' honours, nor desire high places.

Vs. 9-19 The priests were to be wholly devoted to their ministry, not diverted from it, or disturbed in it, by worldly care or business. Also, that they might be examples of living by faith, not only in God's providence, but in his ordinances. The best should be offered for the first-fruits unto the Lord. Those who think to save, by putting God off with the refuse, deceive themselves, for God is not mocked.
Vs 20-32 Those who have God for their Inheritance and their Portion forever, ought to look with holy contempt and indifference upon the possessions of this world. The Levites were to give God his dues out of their tithes, as well as the Israelites out of their increase.  God was necessarily to be regarded as the greatest possession of all, beyond which nothing greater is conceivable, and in comparison with which every other possession is to be regarded as nothing. Hence it was evidently the greatest privilege and highest honor to have Him for a portion and possession (Bhr, Symbolik, ii. p. 44). "For truly," as Masius writes (Com. on Josh.), "he who possesses God possesses all things; and the worship (cultus) of Him is infinitely fuller of delight, and far more productive, than the cultivation (cultus) of any soil." The possession of the priests and Levites did not consist in the revenues assigned to them by God, but in the possession of Jehovah, the God of Israel. In the same sense in which the tribe of Levi was the peculiar possession of Jehovah out of the whole of the people of possession, was Jehovah also the peculiar possession of Levi;
Parallel passages:  Deuteronomy 18:2 - They shall have no inheritance among their brothers; the LORD is their inheritance, as he promised them.  Joshua 13:33 - But to the tribe of Levi, Moses had given no inheritance; the LORD, the God of Israel, is their inheritance, as he promised them. Joshua 18:7 - The Levites, however, do not get a portion among you, because the priestly service of the LORD is their inheritance. And Gad, Reuben and the half-tribe of Manasseh have already received their inheritance on the east side of the Jordan. Moses the servant of the LORD gave it to them. Ezekiel 44:28 I am to be the only inheritance the priests have. You are to give them no possession in Israel; I will be their possession.


End with Prayers of:

·         Adoration - Praise Him and Boast in Him for who He is in today's reading.

·         Thanksgiving - Offer humble gratitude for big and small blessings in your life - at least 3 new things

·         Confession - Admit to the Lord areas you have resisted him or grieved him privately or in relationship.

·         Petition - Ask him for specific help for the many needs of others and you - that you may have power to do His will and see it today.

Aaron’s Budding Rod Warns Rebels - Numbers 17

Begin your study with prayer for the Lord to open your eyes to see who He is more clearly and how to respond to Him more deeply in heart affections and horizontal, radical love toward others.

SUMMARY OF TODAY'S READING
Numbers 17 Summary
The Lord confirms his choice of Aaron in order to end the murmuring against Moses by miraculously causing Aaron’s staff to bud, blossom, and produce ripe almonds in the presence of the twelve tribal leaders of Israel.

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Numbers 17

NOTES

The Forgiven Rebel Becomes a Warning Against Future Rebels
What a picture of the grace of God. Though there was such severity in how God dealt with Korah's rebellion, here stands Aaron and his rod budding to reveal God's gracious choosing of him. Remember just a few short chapters earlier Aaron had his own rebellious episode with his sister Miriam against Moses.  Indeed, God had dealt severely with them but had forgiven and restored Aaron. God was gracious to forgive and accept unworthy Aaron and Miriam.  Now, ironically, it was the forgiven rebel’s rod of Aaron that from this day forward would be a warning to not rebel against God's chosen leaders.  Verse 10 commands that Aaron's miraculously budding rod be placed before the tabernacle continually to warn further rebels, like Korah, from being so presumptuous.

End with Prayers of:

• Adoration - Praise Him and Boast in Him for who He is in today's reading
• Thanksgiving - Offer humble gratitude for big and small blessings in your life - at least 3 new things
• Confession - Admit to the Lord areas you have resisted him or grieved him privately or in relationship
• Petition - Ask him for specific help for the many needs of others and you - that you may have power to do His will and see it today

Proud Beliefs in Korah Caused Ingratitude, Greed, Rebellion, and Death

Begin your study with prayer for the Lord to open your eyes to see who He is more clearly and how to respond to Him more deeply in heart affections and horizontal, radical love toward others.


SUMMARY OF TODAY'S READING
Numbers 16 Summary
Proud Beliefs in Korah Caused Ingratitude, Greed, Rebellion, and Death

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Numbers 16

NOTES


Proud Beliefs in Korah Caused Ingratitude, Greed, Rebellion, and Death
Moses says "Is it not enough that the Lord has... " and then explains to these rebels how good God has been to choose them as Levites and yet now they want more - to exalt themselves as priests. Lack of gratitude in what the  Lord has called us to be and do for His glory reveals existence of pride as we believe we are more significant and people should recognize us and promote us. Such proud ingratitude can turn to greed and results in rebellion. 


Oh Christian, let it be enough that God has brought you near to Himself, fulfill the responsibilities God has assigned you today; stop thinking thee are such things in your service of Him that is "big or small"! Keep an awareness that you don't deserve such a high calling to serve Him - whether it's a calling to represent Him and serve Him as a mom or dad to those precious children, or an employee to that company, or a teacher, a friend, a caregiver, a son or daughter, etc.. Watch out for the natural tendency of our blind, proud heart to believe we deserve a better calling and should be given opportunity to "strut our stuff". No calling in life is low when the Lord has called us to serve Him in it. 


For more, look up the following passages and write out how these verses instruct and motivate service to the big and small things and people of our life. Realizing in the end there are no little people or little places today as you serve the Lord: 1 Corinthians 10:31, Mathews 25:40, Col 3:18-4:1, Luke 17:7-10; Luke 12:37. 


He is the one we serve as we serve in the seemingly little roles; He is the audience and He is our reward in the end. We must not, like Korah and the 250 prominent leaders of Israel, listen to such deceptive beliefs about ourselves that and our callings that stem from our flesh and blindness to His glory. How ugly it is to carry around proud beliefs that we are some how more significant than what we have been given to do by the Lord today. Such pride will rob us of the joy and exalted positions in serving the King and bring us low. As we read this story of Korah's rebellion, pride, ingratitude, and greed let it be a warning to deter us from those four foolish responses to such high callings today.


End with Prayers of:

• Adoration - Praise Him and Boast in Him for who He is in today's reading.
• Thanksgiving - Offer humble gratitude for big and small blessings in your life - at least 3 new things
• Confession - Admit to the Lord areas you have resisted him or grieved him privately or in relationship.
• Petition - Ask him for specific help for the many needs of others and you - that you may have power to do His will and see it today.

Special Time of Prayer - Today's Kindling

From time to time, I will interrupt our normal reading to give you a worship activity that I think will help you stay focused on worship as the goal of time in the Word.  I encourage you today to pray through the following pray.  Let the Lord use it to kindle you affections for Him that you may love Him and others better today.  After praying make a brief list of things you need to confess to Him and seek His help to change you today.  We will resume normal readings tomorrow.  

Your brother,     Tim Bryant 

Prayer to Begin Your Time in the Word

Oh Father, glorify your name.  Draw me by your grace to know you to the point of desiring to fear and glorify You aright (Ps 86:11). Use your Word to teach me this knowledge of You and fear of You (Ps 119:38; Ps 34:9-14).  Illumine the study of your word to the eyes of my heart that your glory may be unveiled to me that I may give you the respect and awe you deserve today (Rev 15:3-4; Eph 1:15-19).   I want to know You so well that it is the delight of my life to fear You, like my Lord Jesus Christ did while on earth (Is 11:3).  It is through Christ that I have been given personal and accurate knowledge of you as my Father (Jn 17:3).  Through Christ, teach me to know You so well that I both tremble and rejoice in the fact that you would choose me to know You. (Ps 2:11; Phil 2:12-13)  Teach me to know You so well that I both tremble and rejoice when Your Word reveals to me Your will in a matter (Is 66:2).  

Help me live more and more of my moments and dealings on earth in the awareness that I live every moment “before the face God” (Latin – “Corem Deo”) - all that I am is completely exposed and vulnerable to the eyes of You with whom I have to do. (Heb 4:12-13) – help me comprehend this, Oh God.  Oh God, forgive me for taking your existence so lightly (Heb 12:5-6; Gen 5:2).  So many deeds, so many thoughts, so many motives so unresponsive to You – forgive me, through the blood of Christ (Rom 3:10-18).  I take so lightly Your justice, holiness, righteousness, perfection, discipline, sovereign control, greatness, power – I resist and transgress these, Your glories, not only in my action but in my lack of attentiveness to them and affections for them.  Forgive me and awaken my heart (Ps 86:11). 

I take so lightly your goodness, love, grace, mercy, compassion, kindness, knowledge, wisdom, understanding, patience, forgiveness, sacrifice and favor.   Let me be moved by the Truth of these for you are worthy of much more attention and affection and devoted surrender than I have given You, Oh great King. 

 Oh God, unite my heart to fear Thy name (Ps 86:11).  Teach me to revere you in my actions, thoughts, and motives as I relate with others (Eph 5:21) that I may exercise and fan into flame this precious gift, this fear of the Lord.

Help me not to look or speak down on others, for you will judge me in like manner – but love them, as you have loved me (James 4:11-12; Rom 14:10-13); .  Help me not be impatient with others, for you been infinitely patient and still are, with the likes of me.  Help me not claim my rights, for before You.  I have no rights only responsibilities and opportunities and wonderful undeserved blessings (Phil 2:3-5; Rom 12; Eph 1:3ff).  Help me forbear and forgive others for sins against me, for you will withhold forgiveness from me if I do not (Matt 18:32-35; Mk 11:25). 

Help me actively speak to others about the Truth of your Word and the Gospel of Jesus Christ as one who speaks from sincerity in the sight of God - before your eyes…as one who knows they will stand condemned before you apart from faith and repentance in Christ (2 Cor 2:17; Eph 6:18; Col 4:4-5) - that I may not shrink back from speaking when I ought, nor speak wrongly when I do.  Help me not to fear the consequences or reward of others, but only You alone (Lam 3:38; Heb 11:6). 

I want to live as one who fears and gives full attention to your promises, as well as your warnings, above any other promises or warnings for I know this is true worship.  Oh my God, I know the fear of the Lord is clean (Ps 19:9); it is a life-giving fountain (Prov 14:27) that produces wisdom, obedience (Ps 111:10), fulfillment, safety (Ps 145:19), Divine treasure (Ps 31:19), confidence, future safety for children (Prov 14:26), and happiness (Ps 128:1), and so much more. 

Oh Lord, let me know you so deeply that I fear You – that the best and main thoughts of my day are about You and to You – bless me with this life-giving fear of the Lord.  I know that if I learn to fear you, I will delight in You (Is 11:3).  I know if I fear you, you will delight in me (Ps 147:11) – I want this. 

I was made to fear, trust, and love something supremely – You alone are worthy, may I realize this – help me do so.  The knowledge of You produces the fear that produces all else!  Jesus said, “no one knows the Father accept the one to whom the Son chooses to reveal Him” (Matt 11:27).  Thank you Christ for giving me this knowledge of the Father, thank you Father for giving me the knowledge of the Son – this has changed my life and eternity.  I commit to making time to know You and to responding to what your Word leads me to see and do.  Oh, Father, glorify Thy name.

Numbers 15 & Mark 6 -Today's Kindling

Begin your study with prayer for the Lord to open your eyes to see who He is more clearly and how to respond to Him more deeply in heart affections and horizontal, radical love toward others.

SUMMARY OF TODAY'S READING
Numbers 15 Summary
New Regulations for Grain & Drink Offerings, Method of Forgiveness for Ignorant Sin and Method of Life-long Punishment for Willful Sin, The Instruction and Significance to God for the Children of Israel to Always Wear Specifically Designed Tassels on the End of Their Garments


Mark 5 Summary
Jesus Receives No Honor in His Home Town, The Twelve Are Sent Out, Herod Is Seduced Sexually Results in An Action He Regrettably Must Fulfill to Behead John the Baptist, Jesus Prescribes Rest to His Twelve After Demanding Ministry, Five Thousand Are Fed  Out of Jesus Compassion to Meet Practical Needs, Jesus Walks on Water Scaring the Disciples.

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Numbers 15
Mark 6

NOTES

NUMBERS 15
"I Didn't Know" Is Sin - vs 22-24  
God still required an offering for forgiveness.  God did not want them to take lightly ignorance to the law.  He wanted them to remain aware of the law that set them apart from the rest of the world for His own possession.  But He made a provision for forgiveness of ignorant disobedience.


But "I Did Know & Did It Anyway" Is Gone- vs 30
NASB translates this sin "defiant sin".  Wow!  Put out for good for doing wrong when you know it is wrong.  I know we often look down on Israel for rejecting the Lord so many times, but we must say that the fact that more of them did not get removed for sinning willfully show that they must have had diligence in their obedience.  Obedience to the law set them apart for God's laws were very different from the laws of other nations. The children of God are a peculiar people for God's own possession and look so when we obey His Word, but His law is all good, we are the ones who make obedience a chore verses a privilege. 

An Illustration of Willful Sin - God Is Serious
A man was picking up sticks on the Sabbath and God commanded him stoned by all!  The fact that more of them were not killed because of willful sin on the Sabbath reveals they had a serious diligence in their obedience to God.  We tend to take lightly the principle of Sabbath rest, but it is for our good and God's glory He gives us commands. May we, the 21st century New Covenant followers of Christ who have the Spirit, yield even greater obedience to Him.

End with Prayers of:

• Adoration - Praise Him and Boast in Him for who He is in today's reading.
• Thanksgiving - Offer humble gratitude for big and small blessings in your life - at least 3 new things
• Confession - Admit to the Lord areas you have resisted him or grieved him privately or in relationship.
• Petition - Ask him for specific help for the many needs of others and you - that you may have power to do His will and see it today.

Numbers 12,13,14 & Mark 5 - Today's Kindling

Begin your study with prayer for the Lord to open your eyes to see who He is more clearly and how to respond to Him more deeply in heart affections and horizontal, radical love toward others.

SUMMARY OF TODAY'S READING
Numbers 12 Summary
Miriam and Aaron speak against Moses and because of Moses' calling and humility before God, God avenges Moses by bringing leprosy on Miriam; and Moses, being humble, intercedes and God does not kill her. 

Number 13 Summary
It was time to spy the promised land and go claim it, but 10 of the 12 spies return with a bad report.  A victim mentality is embraced while the 2 godly spies, Caleb and Joshua, gave a biblically optimistic report. 

Number 14 Summary
The people become depressed and suicidal and speak against God and Moses.  Joshua and Caleb attempt to inspire them with Biblical optimism and as a result they attempt to stone them but God rescues and prepares to kill Israel.  But humble Moses intercedes and God relents but vows to not let one of that generation enter the land except Joshua and Caleb.   The people end in great mourning after realizing they should have believed and went in, and the chapter ends with the enemy coming in and beating them down as they run for their lives! Let us believe the Word and obey it that we may not have to be disciplined like they. 

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Numbers 12
Numbers 13
Numbers 14

Mark 5

NOTES

God Protects Humble Moses - Numbers 12:2
Humility is impossible for God to resist. Moses is called the most humble man on the earth in the context of having his leadership questioned by Miriam and Aaron. Moses did not enter into a fight and defend himself, he let God. Humility in potential conflict is key. Note that humble Moses even intercedes for Miriam once she was struck with leprosy, and the Lord listened. Wow!  Be humble next time you are offended by doing and saying what God desires, he will give you grace and defend you. Be like Moses.

They Are Too Strong For Us - But What About God?  - Number 13:31-33
Note the belief the unfaithful spies had about themselves in light of the size of the enemy - "we were like grass hoppers". It was not that they needed to believe in themselves more, but in the call and Word of God who promised then the land and was commanding them to fight.  We must look beyond the size of the enemies and circumstances and our lack of resources, and to God to see what he wants us to do. Faith in God and obedience to the Word of God is the victory not more faith in self and self esteem.

If The Lord Us Pleased with Us, He Will Bring Us In -  Numbers 14:8-9 
Caleb and Joshua, the two faithful spies, model the right response of faith and obedience. Note what they believed about the Lord and the enemy - our God has commanded us, our God has removed the protection of the enemy, He is for us. Faith in God and His Word is the victory, instead of faith in ourselves. 

Your Corpses Shall Die  in the Wilderness  - Numbers 14:28-30  
As a result of their unbelief which led to the rebellion, that generation of Israel was denied access to the promise land. Caleb and Joshua would be the only remaining Israelites from the current generation that would set foot in the promise land. Let no fear or desire keep you from believing in the power and promise of your God, or you will not endure obediently in the battles of life.



Mark 5 

Vs 7 - Demons know Jesus is superior and fear His torment.  "We will not fear for God has willed His Truth to triumph through us - The prince of darkness grim, we tremble not for him, his rage we can endure, for lo his doom is sure - One little Word shall fell Him."

Vs 13 Jesus had to give the demon permission. The demon could not choose as he wills but as Jesus willed.

Vs 34 She believed Jesus had power to heal physically this infirmity - no one else had been able to help her.  Verse 26 said she "endured" much attempts at the hand of others.  Let us go first to Jesus with our needs.  Let us by prayer seek to touch him by faith for our need.  Let us speak to him of the physical and spiritual needs we have.  He, in the end, is the one that decides how he will meet those needs, but let us not be lazy in asking.  He has asked us to ask!

Vs 41 Jesus raises Jairus' daughter from the dead! He has power over death.  How amazed the people must have been.  A man who has power over demons, over disease, and over death itself.  And the best was yet to come - power over sin and hell which would not be seen until His death and resurrection.  Let us never get so focused on the temporal needs Jesus can meet that we miss out on the bigger eternal and internal needs he came to earth to meet.  We need His power over sin and its eternal penalty. we need to know the living God and have a new heart for God.  We need His power over our inclination to do wrong and rebel.  Let us not forget these needs as the most important things we must hunger for from Him; even above physical healing - our soul healing from sin's disease is our greatest need that we may glorify and enjoy God forever.

End with Prayers of:

• Adoration - Praise Him and Boast in Him for who He is in today's reading.
• Thanksgiving - Offer humble gratitude for big and small blessings in your life - at least 3 new things
• Confession - Admit to the Lord areas you have resisted him or grieved him privately or in relationship.
• Petition - Ask him for specific help for the many needs of others and you - that you may have power to do His will and see it today.